WATCH OUT FOR BEN!

Ben is Ugology's main antagonist! He has been known to lure people into his den of inequity (rumored to have, at one point, contained a black light poster of Jenny McCarthy, and, worse yet, "Street Sharks" baloons) and DEVOUR THEIR SOULS! Watch out for him!

Apparently, Ben fancies himself a masseuse, but in reality he just thinks he is because he owns a few articles of cheap plastic masseusery! Don't let him give you his vile soul-sucking backrub of death! Be warned! (He just likes touching people's "lower backs.")

Here is an official Ugologist letter sent to Ben:

Dear Sir:
    We here at the Transnational Church of Ugology regret to inform you that you have been officially denounced by our sacred church. This may or may not have negative effects on your life, as the validity of our particular sect is shaky, at best. It's just a bad coincidence (for you) that you happen to be the primary antagonist in our religion. Who knows, perhaps "satan" was just some unlucky sod like yourself who was basically randomly picked to be the ultimate incarnation of earthly/spiritual evil. However, this can be a blessing for you as well as a curse, because you're sure to be remembered long after you die, just as Satan is. In fact, you might even have some twisted gothic teenagers worshipping you one day. I can't be sure of what your "evil" status will mean later in your life, but you can be assured that Ugologists don't condone violence.
    Best of luck,
            Transnational Church of Ugology

WARNING: Ben is a creature of many names; watch out for: "Taz," "Snake," "The Masseur," "Prince Of Lies," "His Most Unholy Evilness," "Eyepoker," "The Fiery Angel of Pain," etc.

Here's a bit of conversation with "Gentle Ben."

Masseur200: plus anyone who follows a leader blindly is void of iq and has no thought of his/her own.
Ugology: Nobody follows the leader blindly in Ugology. It's not like catholics are slaves to the whim of the pope.
Masseur200: but you said its a cult and thats the deffinition of a cult. look it up you silly fool
Ugology: 1: formal religious veneration: WORSHIP
Ugology: 2: A system of religious beliefs and ritual; also: its body of adherents.
Ugology: 3: a religion reguarded as unorthadox
Ugology: Hmmm... don't see anything about blind followinging in the new webster's dictionary...
Ugology: You poor sod, you lose again.
Masseur200: i never loose
Ugology: You just did!

WARNING: Benny boy is not one of the "bright people."